when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
