he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
