He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
