he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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