She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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