I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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