we have officially lost it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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