I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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