If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I need water and some morals
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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