Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
