i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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