i may or may not be watching the land before time
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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