Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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