so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
