She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
