do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
