Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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