Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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