K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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