I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
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Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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