all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
