new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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