Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How does it feel to date your dad?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
