we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
