Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
