Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
