Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
