Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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