If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
