marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
