i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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