he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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