do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
