why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
