I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
