i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
