how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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