that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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