I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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