everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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