she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im holly from the hills drunk
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
