I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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