he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
