fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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