I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
