Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
