Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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