How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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