Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize