I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize