Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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