North Korea, Best Korea!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
