We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
