You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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