i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
