Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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