Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
