So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
